Okay, so if you’re anything like me, you have fallen for a boy who is miles away from yourself and you have both decided to maintain a relationship while you’re studying at Uni. Whether this was the result of a summer fling or a high school relationship you just couldn’t give up, long distance relationships are never easy to maintain.
Many people will say “it’ll never work” or your family may even discourage it, but it is possible, you can do it. Long distance is hard, but it is achievable if you maintain a strong emotional connection, communicate effectively and trust each other.
So here is a list of the best tips that have helped me along the way to a happy and successful LDR:
1. Trust is Important
Pivotal to any healthy relationship is trust and this could not be truer when it comes to distance. Trust is built overtime, so make sure to be open and honest with your partner as best you can to avoid any miscommunications that may break this. A good way to avoid miscommunications is laying out your expectations of one another from the beginning, this means there is less chance of misinformed upset. If you’re concerned about any of your partners behavior, it is always best to bring this up with them instead of wallowing in the thoughts of “what if’s?”. When you don’t get to see your partner for big chunks of time it is easy to feel vulnerable, especially when others are getting the face to face contact with them that you crave. After all, it is important for you to remember that they chose you for a reason and if you have any concerns, mention them. Keep busy, focus on you and trust that they are doing the same.
2. Good Morning’s and Good Night’s
Maintaining a regular routine helps, it is always a nice feeling when you know that your partner is thinking of you just before they go to sleep and when they wake up. This can be a small gesture that goes a long way, especially after those days of university when everything just seems to come crashing down. This is a simple task that can give your partner the biggest smile to start the day off with.
Facetime is great for that face to face communication that you and your partner lack when you are away from each other and this is the perfect way to maintain that emotional connection. Despite this, avoid excessive communication, I find every second or third night works well for my partner and I. Take note of the silly thing that happens in your lecture or that you tripped down some stairs today, share those moments with your partner so you can share giggles and feel like they were right there with you.
4. Give Yourselves Something to Look Forward to
Planning a trip to see each other a couple months out is great, it gives you an end goal that seems so much more achievable. Discussing where’d you like to go and what you like to see is a great way to build up the excitement. Grab a calendar and start ticking those days off!
5. Make Events Special
Spending anniversaries and birthdays apart is difficult and can be a little upsetting. If you know that you will not be together for these events, plan an alternative, or even better use this as an opportunity to surprise your partner with a letter and special gift. Facetime birthday party anyone?!
6. Enlist a Trustworthy ‘Stand-in Boyfriend/Girlfriend’ For Nights Out
This one is key! If you’re going on a night out on the town or dabbling in an awesome University event, having a “stand-in” is perfect. You and your partner most likely don’t want each other getting unwelcomed advances from others, so to avoid this, grab a mate (who you can trust) to pull up beside you if you begin to feel uncomfortable in a situation. This can avoid the awkward turn downs and will ensure that your partner knows you’re safe.
7. Study is Priority
In saying all of this, your study and grades are your priority. If you are weighing up between a facetime and finishing that essay, the call can wait, and if your partner is worth it, they will be totally okay with that. At the end of the day you are at university to get a degree of your choice and not a Bachelor in skype. You are your priority, put your grades and self-first.
I hope these tips help and you enjoy your loving long-distance relationship. Emotional connection is key when you lack the ability to have physical contact. Cherish your time together, trust in each other and send a cheeky letter from time to time.
Good luck and happy loving!
Kezia - Kimera Ambassador